I pray you are blessed and doing well! If you are struggling, I pray for the Lord's peace upon you! Take heart; sorrow may come in the night, but JOY comes in the morning!
If you have kept up with my blog, you will have noticed that my latest post was full of joy, love, and hope. I am so grateful for those precious moments when God reveals himself in the beauty that is LIFE. However, life can often bring forth pain, sorrow, confusion, and hurt right alongside the love, joy, hope, peace..and so on. How is it that in a blink of an eye, everything can change?
Consider what I am about to say with an open mind and heart to receive not the truth I speak, but rather the truth our Loving Father has revealed to me these past few days. My heart is heavy, and I have so many things on which I want to write, but one word sticks out in my mind...FORGIVENESS.
Sadly, I am finding that more times than not that the people closest to me and those whom I love dearest, are those that hurt me the most. My family and friends are often the most unforgiving and judgmental people. Furthermore, within the body of Christ, whether at a church or any assembly of fellow believers, the amount of strife, finger pointing, and grudge holding is depressing. How is it that a people who claim to love, honor, and follow the teaching of Christ are the most frequent offenders? Is it because we know each other so intimately? Why then do we use that personal knowledge to hurt instead of heal?
Please! If someone has an explanation, I would like to hear it!
How is this lost world (that's headed to Hell in a hand-basket) to see and know Christ if his "tools" are dull and useless? How is the salt and the light of the world supposed to "light and preserve" if it is dim and flavorless? Matthew 5: 13, "“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot."
This is what has burdened my spirit for so long!
Forgiveness....as I mull over this word, I realize how little I truly know about the powerful meaning behind forgiveness. In today's society, it is a word rarely and loosely used as a meager attempt at a "half-hearted" apology. When we hurt someone, whether intentionally or purposefully, we plead for "forgiveness" without really understanding the premise behind our request.
Think of it outside of the word's standards and rather, look at it from another perspective...God's! The Bible is VERY specific on forgiveness and on how it is given and received. Furthermore, it is more than just loosely used vocabulary, but instead a life style and attitude.
Wow! Let's look at a few verses.
Colossians 3:13 says, "Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."
In Matthew 18:21, Peter asks a very good question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Consider for a few moments what a monumental display of love Jesus showed with that request!
Now, before you get all offended and start offering reasons for why some things are "unforgivable," STOP! If Jesus could truly (and without reservation) forgive those who arrested him, beat him, mocked him, and killed him, You are NOT above extending forgiveness! This may sound mean...but sometimes the truth hurts...
GET OVER YOURSELF!
I recently talked with a dear friend of mine about forgiveness. In our discussion, I relayed my hurt in having lost a friend of over ten years. In a flash, a solid, unbreakable bond was reduced to ashes. My lost friendship was due not only to a lack forgiveness, but a lack of honesty on the part of my "betrayed" friend. What started out as an honest misunderstanding turned into a session of "you did this and that," often referencing events that transpired years earlier. Never once, however, had my hurt friend mentioned her issues at the time of the supposed "offense." When I attempted to point out that issue, she brushed it off and told me to stop making excuses for my actions. According to her, the damage was not only done but irreversible.
The story doesn't end there!
I was left with a feeling of total loss as if having just suffered the worst breakup or a death. I lost a part of myself that day when my friend stormed out of my life. Not only did her accusations hurt, but the manner in which is was done was painful. My character was not challenged in person but rather over EMAIL! She couldn't even say it to me directly..a slap in the face!
Despite my attempts to remain calm, I can say with much disappointment that I did not handle it the way Christ has shown in the Bible. I immediately returned her "laundry list" email with a rebuttal fit for the courtroom. In my hurt, I threw my own accusations in her face, saying things I'll forever regret. I agreed to sever the friendship, closed out the email, and even removed her from Facebook.
Immature! I know..you can say it!!
Nevertheless, God wasn't about to let it end there. Over the next six months after the "breakup," He revealed to me the error of my ways. As I read over the verses I shared earlier, I suddenly understood how poorly I had represented Christ in my response. I was immediately convicted of my sin and sought to contact my friend.
Matthew 5: 23-24 says, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."
I had no business making any requests of the Lord until I had humbly sought and extended forgiveness. Whether my friend forgave me was not my concern. Letting her know that I bore no ill towards her, acknowledged my wrongs, and truly extended forgiveness was my only mission!
Long story short..we reconciled to the point of forgiving one another and resuming some form of communication. Our close friendship is over, but our hearts are at peace with one another. In the end, that is all that matters!
This happens between believers and non-believers alike. Our human nature, horrid as it can be, rears its ugly head at the worst and most inopportune times. Our pride is our greatest enemy and the most powerful tool the Deceiver uses against us.
DO NOT believe the lies that "You have every right to strike back! He hurt you first, so he must hurt more by the time you're done. He doesn't deserve forgiveness!"
Imagine that!!!
Long story short..we reconciled to the point of forgiving one another and resuming some form of communication. Our close friendship is over, but our hearts are at peace with one another. In the end, that is all that matters!
This happens between believers and non-believers alike. Our human nature, horrid as it can be, rears its ugly head at the worst and most inopportune times. Our pride is our greatest enemy and the most powerful tool the Deceiver uses against us.
DO NOT believe the lies that "You have every right to strike back! He hurt you first, so he must hurt more by the time you're done. He doesn't deserve forgiveness!"
Lies!!! ALL LIES!!! None of us DESERVE forgiveness, but Christ GAVE it anyway as a GIFT!
If you have learned ONE thing from what I have written, please hear this!!! "Pride comes before the fall." If your pride is keeping you from being honest with those you love and even those you don't love, then be prepared to live a VERY lonely life! Forgiveness isn't easy (it goes against our human nature)....SO WHAT! The most precious things in life are the ones for which you must work the hardest!!!
What hurts the most about my lost friendship, is not perhaps the words shared, but how they were shared. They were not shared face-to-face, and they were a culmination of years worth of resentment. My "friend" clearly showed no respect or love towards our friendship or myself to be HONEST enough with me during the times I supposedly hurt her. It is like punishing a child six months after he lies, or cheats, or steals. It doesn't do any good!
What hurts the most about my lost friendship, is not perhaps the words shared, but how they were shared. They were not shared face-to-face, and they were a culmination of years worth of resentment. My "friend" clearly showed no respect or love towards our friendship or myself to be HONEST enough with me during the times I supposedly hurt her. It is like punishing a child six months after he lies, or cheats, or steals. It doesn't do any good!
Imagine that!!!
Please, please, PLEASE! Prayerfully consider this if you are experiencing something similar to what I have shared. Forgiveness is liberating and healing for ALL parties involved. If Christ forgave so freely..What's Stopping You? Relationships and love take EFFORT! It means stepping outside of yourself and your personal desires and needs! It means bearing an attitude of selflessness! Don't throw away relationships like trash, but instead regard them as precious jewels to be treasured!
God Bless and Much Love!!! <3
