In Christ Alone!

Hello again!  

It has been months since I've written last, and I am sad to see how my life got in the way of what I love to do...write and lift up those I love and even more importantly, those I don't know and perhaps will never meet!  I pray you are blessed today and have taken the time to simply sit in the Holy Presence of your Loving, Faithful, and Ever Present Heavenly Father.  

Since I've last blogged, many things have happened.  I was blessed to receive a full-time job, sang at the Kimmel Center in December, celebrated the wondrous birth of my Savior Jesus Christ, rang in the New Year...and with that, came the year's first challenges.  

My life and schedule were packed, and along came the consequences of pushing God, perhaps subconsciously and perhaps partly consciously in the background.  Bible reading suddenly became a late night obligation, my prayers became shallow, and I felt myself wandering from my once strong spiritual and personal relationship.  It’s like the song Come, thou Fount of Every Blessing, where the final line reads, Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.  Take my heart, oh take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.  Except, I was doing the wandering and not allowing God to seal my heart to Him.  In truth, my life was too cluttered, but I often like it that way.  I function best when I feel like I am being useful and accomplishing "things."  And along I went in this manner; until, I was in a severe accident at the end of January.  

Praise God, through it all, I am doing well.  I am truly thankful to have walked away from the accident, but the seriousness did not escape me..not even for a moment.  As I struggled to get out of the car the night of the crash, I found myself thinking "what if this had been worse?"  What would have happened if I had died..would I have been truly ready?  Had I mended all of the bridges I burned, had I said "I love you to everyone I knew...?"  The questions flooded my mind.  Despite the nipping cold and the snow laden ground, I got down on my knees and praised God for sparing my life and for blessing me with the gift of another day.  After facing death so closely, I no longer take each day for granted, for I have personally experience the fragility of life.  

However, the refining did not simply stop at the reminder to give thanks for each precious moment.  Although, the night of the accident, I simply felt the results of whiplash and a strained back, I soon found I suffered more serious injuries including, a sprained hip and shoulder (from the seat belt), a sprained back, and a concussion.  I was down and out for at least a week…or so I thought.  The attending hospital physician said to give myself at least two weeks to feel more like myself, but warned me it could take months before I was back to my 100% self. (What?  You’ve got to be kidding me…I don’t have months….time time time..was all I thought about…)

Needless to say, the pain was more than I had ever experienced, and I knew I was in for a long healing process.  Well..five weeks later, I am still out of work, and on my final week of Physical Therapy.  There are mornings I feel fifty years older and every movement takes effort.  Over these past five weeks, I have learned so much...

1. God is in control, even when you think you've got it all together

2. Times of Trial are not His way of punishing you, but rather a refining method. 

3. Trials also make clear God's intention toward you...He wants all of you, and sometimes He has to take away every "normal" thing in life, strip you bare (sometimes literally), and draw you back to the loving relationship that flourished before the weeds of life killed the vital flower.  

4. I need God in EVERY part of my life, and what is impossible with man, is ALWAYS possible with God. 

These are just a few of the lessons I've learned...sad for someone who has been a Christian for nearly twenty years.  But, I have rediscovered my love for my Savior and His Word.  With plenty of downtime and a lot of time to fill, I found myself drawn to the Bible I had nearly completely forsaken just weeks before.  I had started a "Bible in a Year" study at the start of the New Year, but soon fell away from the schedule.  Don't get me wrong, reading the Bible should never be a chore, but it should be something done every day!  God desires that quiet time with us, and it eventually becomes our own desire.  But let's be honest!  Every habit, good or bad, takes training...even passionate reading of the best love letter ever written to mankind.  

I read both the New and the Old Testament, and I am learning so much about the history of my ancestors, the prophets who spoke of Christ's arrival, Christ himself, and the people who shared the good news after His death and resurrection.  Old proverbs and parables were given new life and sections I had never read were given brilliant meaning in my personal life both spiritually and physically.   I have fallen newly in love with my Lover of my Soul and am, for the first time in years, thirsting for the Word! 

To say the least, I am overwhelmed, in a good way, by what I have learned in five short weeks.  I am not proud that, as a Christian of twenty years, I failed so miserably, but I am eternally grateful that God loves me enough to FIGHT for me and CONVICT me EVERYDAY.  It is when I stop feeling His probing; I should begin to be fearful.  For as long as I feel His gentle urging in my soul and life, I know I am not lost.  Salvation, once accepted is forever!  I believe that with every fiber of my being, but what we do with this great news is up to us!  His love and mercy are boundless, and His righteousness and justice are perfect.

THIS!  This is what I learned!  I relearned the good news I had already accepted.  But only this time, it was refined from head knowledge to full on, fire consuming, HEART knowledge.  The distant became personal!  God is Absolute, no doubt about it.  He deserves ultimate reverence and fear (respect,) but what He wants more than anything, is our LOVE.  To commune and LOVE us for eternity.  John 3:16 says it all.  For God SO LOVED the world, that He GAVE his ONLY begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believes in Him, shall NOT perish, but have ETERNAL LIFE.  For God came NOT into the world to CONDEMN the world, but that the word may be SAVED through HIM. 

May it not take a death or a near death experience and forced down time to make you see what I saw.  God deserves 1st place in your life, and He'll accept nothing less.  Are you ready to let Him in and experience the boundless joys and blessings He has to offer?  I did...and I will NEVER look back! 

God Bless!  <3