Good Afternoon and Many Blessings!
It's been such a long time since I turned on my computer and logged onto this site. I hope this post finds you happy and healthy.
There are days when I honestly wonder what I'm doing here, what plan God has for me, and am I even close to fulfilling that plan.
Some days I'm exhausted just thinking about the next minute, and the thoughts that run through my head can become overwhelming and frankly terrifying.
I've gotten into the habit of prayer journaling (per the suggestion of a friend and sister in Christ) along with my regular journaling practices. I find it an extremely refreshing process that leaves me with a clear prospective and a hopeful spirit. God is faithful to answer my musings through His Word and through the still small voice that speaks to my weary and often, overly imaginative soul.
This past year has been one of a LOT of changes that has procured a LOT of growth. Sadly, often times that growth comes through trials, failures, pain, sorrow, and loss and this year has been chock full of all of those elements. Not to say it can't come through victories and triumphs and happy moments. But! Let's be honest here for just a minute....we are generally stubborn and prideful beings who are quick to assume we known the answers and extremely slow to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit who seeks to guide us in the way of the Lord's will. So, while we often complain about struggles and challenges we face and ask God to take them away...would we really listen otherwise??
Instead of complaining...which is something I do a LOT of...I'll admit it...I've learned this year to approach these lessons slightly differently. Much like Paul who asked and begged and pleaded with God to remove the "thorn from his side three times," God did not answer his prayer to remove the problem. Instead the Lord said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2nd Corinthians 12:8). Paul accepted this challenge and noted "For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2nd Corinthians 12:10).
So, here is what I've started praying instead...
Okay Lord. Since you're not taking away these struggles...since you're allowing me to make mistakes...what do YOU want me to do? What I am supposed to learn? Open my heart, my eyes, and my ears to the TRUTH You are asking me to understand.
I can tell you, this is MUCH easier said than done. But, I can also tell you, if you make a conscious effort and CHOICE to do this instead of grumbling and complaining, God is ALWAYS faithful to answer those prayers and that is a blessing you can't ignore.
I recently read a beautiful quote from Alistair Begg that touched my heart so deeply. A much needed reminder of an absolute truth I too easily forget.
How blessed I am by this simple stated yet profound TRUTH. I am thankful beyond what words can fully convey for the grace of the Lord. I have been experiencing His grace full blast lately, particularly in the midst of the dark moments and struggles of this past year.
Even when the storms of life threaten to overwhelm me and draw me under, God's GRACE is the life vest that keeps me afloat.
I can honestly say this process is FAR from over. Each day God continues to stretch me and shape me, and some days I hate it. It's uncomfortable and painful. Not because God is actually hurting me, but because it forces me to accept my shortcomings, forces me to accept my failures, and forces me let go of control. But! It also forces me to lean fully on the Lord, accept His sovereignty, and rest in His grace. And let's be real here...
It doesn't get any better than that!
Until Next time <3
